A Wile Narration

Afore A start here, A want tae mak it clear that naeboady here haes ocht agin bagpipes! Heth, thar's naethin cud bate a guid playin pipe band. But it haes tae bae said that whin someboady is joost larnin hoo tae play tha pipes, it's no aa music tae tha lugs. Tha Toon Rhymer foon that tae bae tha case tae!

Roosty Pipes

A mind it richtly, tha furst tim A heared it

A woke up wie a jump oot o bed!

Tha narration wus naethin lake A'd e'er heared afore

It's a wunner mae lugs hadnae bled!

A sprachled an spaltered across tha length o tha room

Puttin oan mae as quick as A cud dae

Tho A done mae best tae droon oot tha noise

A joost had tae know whur it wus comin frae.

A lukked in ivery room in tha hoose

But thar wus naethin there A cud see

That cud bae guilty o makin that serious noise

That wus tormentin an vexin poor me!

So then A went oot tae tha gairden

An tha louder an mair deafenin it got;

Lake forty banshees in a choir in tha nicht

Lake a baste that deserved tae bae shot!

An then as A turned tha corner o tha hoose

A saw mae brither playin pipes oan his ain

Unless cats in a bag bein swung roon an roon,

It wus mair nor eneuch tae drive ye insane!

Sez he, "A'm only tunin them, sure

They'll soun tha best afore wile lang".

Sez me, "Cud ye no hae bin a singer?

Fer A'd hae suffered less frae yin o yer sangs!"