Car Bother
Tha furst car A iver bocht
Was frae a fairmer who leeved at tha Aird
Tha tyres wur bald, tha boady wus rugh
But he swore that he'd niver drove hur hard.
A tuk it hame an gien it a dicht wie a clout
An left hur gleamin frae tha front tae tha bak
But whit thon oul boady niver toul mae
Wus that gan roon a corner required a knack!
Gan doon tha Bendooragh Road, A turned tha wheel
An it throwed mae clean intae tha hedge
A steggered hame wie shooglie legs
Fer mae nerves wur richt oan edge!
Tha nixt yin A bocht wus frae a wummin
It had 15 thoosand mile oan tha clock
But whit she maun hae forgot tae mention
Wus that she had gien tha oul car a knock
A skidded oan ice a month later
A hut a post an thon car broke in twa
Tha wee wummin haes moved frae hur hame noo
An is bein chased bae tha lang airms o tha laa.
Mae last motor came awa ower frae England
Tha engine seized an A got hut frae behin
When A rung tha boady who had sowl it
He sed "Och, maun that's a sin!"
Sez A, "Ir ye gan tae mak things richt?"
He joost hooched wie a wile hearty laugh
A tried tae ring him a dizen mair times
But his phone wus aaways switched aff.
Sae noo A'm usin mae legs an mae feet
Tae get maesel frae A tae B
It micht no suit tha rest o youse
But it's tha safest option fer me!
Toon Rhymer 2007
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