Ullans is nae twang!

Yin thing A aye hated wus tha wye teachers an yins A went tae schule wie aye referred tae Ulster Scotch (ir Ullans) as naethin mair nor an accent ir a twang. It niver wus only that but its only lately that tha leid wae taak an screeve haes bin gien legal recognition as a leevin leid. Tha Toon Rhymer agrees an haes this tae say aboot it.

Mair Than A Twang

A've joost bin considerin tha wurds that A use

Whin taakin tae mates ir expressin mae views;

Tha Ulster Scotch leid, A'm gye heppy tae taak

Tho thar's aptly sniggerin gan oan ahint mae bak.

Whin A'm oot fer tha nicht an noisy fowk A'm among

A'll say "Wheesht" ir "Cud youse yins naw houl yer tongue"

Instead o "Potatoes or Fries?" A'll say "Prootas ir chips?"

An if its coul A'll say A'm founderin when tha frosty air nips.

An upper class woman micht bae "A snottery oul blade"

Whin she tells aa aroon hur aboot tha catter she's made.

I say "ferninst" instead o opposite and "heid" instead o head,

A'll say mae granda is "deid" whin A'm meanin he's dead;

If A say that A'm "Bate" it means A'm lukkin at defeat;

If A see cows in a fiel, A'll say "Luk at them kye",

If someone's "Intae Themsels", it means that they're shy.

At nicht whin A'm tired, A'll say that A'm done

A'll tell fowk A done richtly if A fin oot A've won;

The middle aged Romeo is joost a fool oul cod

Spalterin oor tha dance fleur lake a horse needin shod

If A'm coul A'll bae starvin, an no hungry ava -

A'm taakin foreign in London but untherstud in Buckna.

So tha moral o tha rhyme is forgyet society's conventions

An taak tha wye ye aye did withoot airs ir pretentions

An bae proud tae spake tha leid o tha boul Ulster Scot

Tha leid so moany o wur nybours haes sadly forgot!